How To Win Your Privacy
by ArcticPuppet
Summary: There's a party at Capsule Corp and everyone is invited! Gohan and Videl aren't getting any privacy, so they devise a plan to make the nosy people around them go away. Oneshot. First of most likely only.


Found this in a story I wrote a long time ago and will never ever post. I fixed it up a bit and tadaaa! Takes place some time after Buu and Videl and Gohan have been dating a while. Enjoy!

Also, I don't own DragonBall Z.

How To Win Your Privacy

The party was beginning to wind down, and with the adults cleaning and some of them still drinking, Gohan and Videl decided to take this time to sneak off and finally get some privacy. Having nearly every adult you know constantly pestering you about your relationship could get quite obnoxious.

ChiChi looked around for her son and future daughter-in-law but could not find them. "Where are Gohan and Videl?"

Goku scanned the compound, searching for the ki of the two teenagers. "They're inside the building. Wonder what they went in there for?"

ChiChi and Bulma had an evil glint in their eyes. "Guess, there's only one way to find out," Bulma said, smiling.

Gohan and Videl were sitting on a couch in one of the various rooms of Capsule Corp. He had his arms around her waist and her legs across his lap, and she had her arms around his neck and her head on his shoulder. Videl sighed and turned her head towards the door, where she could sense the ki of all the adults. She and Gohan had hardly been alone the entire time at the party, hence the escape to one of the many sitting rooms, and it was beginning to take its toll. Videl felt a breakdown coming on.

Gohan was the first to speak, "Guys, we can sense you."

The door flew open and they all tumbled in. ChiChi stood to dust herself off. "So, what are you guys up to?"

Videl suddenly got an idea and nudged Gohan to play along. "We were talking about having kids."

"You were?!" ChiChi shouted with hearts in her eyes.

"We were?" Gohna hissed at Videl.

"Yes, we were. But then we started thinking, you know, about Gohan's genetics and all that." She continued when the hearts in ChiChi's eyes dissipated, "I mean, he's born from two different species. He could quite possibly be sterile."

ChiChi screamed. Gohan immediately caught on, "Yes, I do believe I could be. In fact, I'm quite certain I am."

"Okay, no need to panic," ChiChi almost yelled. "You can still get married, and adopt kids!"

Videl got to her feet and said very dramatically, "I'm afraid not, ChiChi. You see, after the realization that I can never have children with the man that I love, I have decided to live my life the way I originally intended. I, am a lesbian!"

"NOOOOOO!" "AWESOME!" Gohan glared at Yamcha.

"I'm afraid so."

"Then Gohan can just get a new girlfriend, or adopt his own children," ChiChi mumbled to herself, slightly crazed.

Gohan stood suddenly, walking next to Videl, facing his mother. "Mother, I must tell you something." When she looked at him, he continued, "After the shock of my infertility and the upsetting news of Videl being a lesbian, I have decided to drop out of school, and join... a gang."

Videl resisted the urge to laugh at Gohan's line. ChiChi promptly fainted.

"You killed her," Goku said, catching his wife in his arms.

Videl waved him off and sat back down on the couch, "She'll be fine. Now, everyone get out, or we'll start hitting people. And tell ChiChi that Gohan won't be sterile anymore if she backs off. And then I won't have to be a lesbian, and Gohan won't have to join a gang." She watched as everyone left the room and Gohan sat back down with her when they shut the door. She looked at him, one eyebrow raised, "Join a gang? I think it's more likely for me to be a lesbian."

He laughed as he pulled her across his lap, "I know, but mom used to always say I'd join a gang if I didn't study, and I knew it'd be the only way to really scare her." He laughed again as he watched her face. "Can't see me doing gang signs, can you?"

"I don't think you'd know one if you saw it." She put her hand on the back of his head and pulled him down to her face, kissing him full on the lips.

In another living room, Bulma was waving a small package of smelling salts under ChiChi's nose, waking her up.

ChiChi abruptly sat up, "Grandbabies!"

Goku chuckled and handed his wife a glass of water, "It's okay ChiChi. Gohan is probably not sterile, Videl isn't a lesbian, and Gohan definitely isn't going to drop out of school or join a gang. They were just trying to tell you to back off. They aren't going to ever fall in love if you don't give them time to be with each other. Oh, and Videl said that she's going to start hitting people if we don't lay off, and I really don't want her mad at me."

Goten and Trunks walked up to Bulma, curiosity in their freakishly large chibi eyes, and elbowed each other back and forth until Goten took another step closer. "Um, auntie Bulma, what's a lez-bee-in?"

Yamcha tried to speak up, but ChiChi hit him in the head with a frying pan, giving him a concussion. "Nothing you boys need to worry about."

"Why not? If Videl is going to be a lez-bee-in, I want to be one too!" Goten exclaimed.

"You can't be a lesbian, dummy," Trunks told him.

"Why not?!" Goten demanded, turning to his best friend and glaring the only way a Son knew how. Which was not at all.

"Because I'M going to be a lesbian first!" Trunks took off across the room and jumped out the window, flying off around the compound.

"Oh no you don't, Trunks!" Goten raced after him.

Everyone sighed. "Somehow, this is the weakling's fault." They turned to see Vegeta, face slightly pale and staring out the window.

Bulma walked to her husband and placed her hand on his chest. "Videl and Gohan wanted to make everyone leave them alone so Gohan said he was sterile and Videl said she was a lesbian and ChiChi fainted. Goku explained to her when she woke up that Videl is not a lesbnian, and that must have been when the boys walked in."

"Then why is the weakling passed out? Wait, never mind, I don't care," and with that, he was exiting the room.

Krillin finally spoke up, "I think Videl is going to fit right in."


End file.
